It’s a brief musical interlude today in this frantic week of sleigh-loading, friends, but I promise that the earworm it creates will be long-lasting. Here’s a little holiday tune to keep you humming between sales:
On the first day of the season, dear FedEx brought to me:
A shipment just missing box #3.
 


In the second box of books, why did Ingram send to me?
Two turtlebacks (dammit) (and a shipment just missing box #3).
On the third day I missed lunch, my staffer shared with me:
Three cold French fries, (two turtlebacks, and a shipment just missing box #3).

On the fourth tired evening, in my message stack I’ll see:
Four cold-call self pubs, (three French fries, two turtlebacks, and a shipment just missing box #3).

On the fifth day of wrapping, my customer brought to me:
FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. (“please wrap them individually, cover the prices with stickers, and be sure to write the titles on a post-it note on top. Do you have any more boyish Christmas paper and do I get a volume discount?)
(Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks, and a shipment still missing box #3.)

It’s the sixth round of school orders, but we can’t seem to see:
A lost case of Goose Girl (FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks, and a shipment still missing box #3).

It’s the seventh week of the quarter, so at my desk I’ll be:
Swimming in invoices, (lost case of Goose Girl, FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks and a shipment still missing box #3).

On the eighth week of overtime, my home I rarely see:
Someone send a maid please (swimming in invoices, lost case of Goose Girl, FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks, and a shipment still missing box #3).


On my ninth hour on the floor, my headache pounds like drums:
Do we have some aspirin? (someone send a maid please, swimming in invoices, lost case of Goose Girl, FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks and a shipment still missing box #3).

On the tenth day of December, the bathroom overflowed.
Pipes spewing water (do we have some aspirin? Someone send a maid please, swimming in invoices, lost case of Goose Girl, FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks, and a shipment still missing box #3).

On December eleventh, a customer brought treats.
All of us were dancing (do we have some aspirin? Someone send a maid please, swimming in invoices, lost case of Goose Girl, FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks, and a shipment still missing box #3).


On the twelfth day of Christmas, all we could say was “PLEASE”:
Lord, let it soon be over (all of us were dancing, do we have some aspirin? Someone send a maid please, swimming in invoices, lost case of Goose Girl, FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks. AND WE FOUND THAT WRETCHED MISSING BOX #3).
Here’s to a chorus of strong sales in these last few days!