Recently, a young woman in her mid-20s came into the store looking for a picture book to give her one-year-nephew, one that contained a same-sex couple, ideally aunts or uncles, but barring those, same-sex parents. “I’m getting married to my fiancée in two weeks,” she said, “and I’d really like to give my nephew a book he can understand, with a family like ours.” I scratched my head, trying to think of possibilities.
Guess what? It’s a publishing DESERT for young children of same-sex parents and kids with LGBT relatives.
There are some titles out there. I remembered the two Bobbie Combs picture books from several years ago, ABC a Family Alphabet Book and 123 a Family Counting Book, which continue to be important additions (but whose art I want to like better). And there are several books about having gay parents, like Heather Has Two Mommies, Lesléa Newman’s pioneering picture book from more than 25 years ago, and her more recent board books Mommy, Mama and Me and Daddy, Papa and Me. And Patricia Polacco has a warm-hearted book, In Our Mothers’ House. There is also, of course, the charming And Tango Makes Three.
But I couldn’t think of a picture book where gay aunts, uncles, grandparents or other family members are significant figures in the story. (And please, dear readers, shout out in the comments if there are any!) A fact sheet on lesbian and gay parenting on the ACLU website states: “Researchers estimate that the total number of children nationwide living with at least one gay parent ranges from six to 14 million.” The number of children with a gay aunt, uncle, cousin, or grandparent must be exponentially higher than that.
Where the heck are the books for these kids? How is it that, more than 25 years after Heather Has Two Mommies, we still don’t have a significant body of literature for these millions of children?
Recently, there’s been a surge in awareness of other kinds of diversity in picture books, including gender non-conformity and the rejection of social constructions of “girl” and “boy,” like the beautiful Julián Is a Mermaid, Pink Is for Boys, Jacob’s New Dress, I’m a Girl, Jerome by Heart, and many more. It’s still a small percentage, but strides are being made. On the other hand, picture books for children of gay parents can be counted on two hands, and nearly all of them are issues-driven books, not storybooks.
Ten years ago, when I started blogging here in PW about the lack of racial, ethnic, and cultural diversity in children’s books, I asked authors and illustrators and publishers to be aware that white is not the default race. Now I’m asking authors and illustrators and publishers to consider the actual world we live in, to recognize that the ‘default’ family—isn’t.
We seem to cling to the nuclear (and still overwhelmingly white, not to mention straight) family structure in our books for very young children, when in fact less than half of families in the U.S. look like that. Just as we need a beautiful array of multiracial families in board books, and books with single moms and single dads, we also need board books and picture books that have, as a matter of course, and without need for extra commentary, LGBT family members. It can be as simple as showing a happy family around a picnic table, where one of the arm-around-shoulder couples happens to be two men or two women. Or a simple mention: “The best birthday present came from my uncles, who gave me a unicorn.” You know, like that.
As for my customer? The young woman getting married who wanted something for her one-year-old nephew ultimately chose Donovan’s Big Day, in which a boy’s two moms get married. It’s too old for him at the moment, and it’s not about two aunts getting married, but it’s a start. Maybe when he’s two or three, the literary landscape will look a little richer.
UPDATE: Readers have written in with some wonderful suggestions! Some are out of print, but many are current, and it’s clear that the search engines in the main distributor databases we booksellers use are not tagging these titles consistently, in a way that allows us to find them in targeted searches. That would be so helpful!
What about Sarah Brannen’s UNCLE BOBBY’S WEDDING? https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780399247125
Uncle Bobby’s Wedding by Sarah S. Brannen comes to mind: https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780399247125
YES! Perfect for smaller children. Gentle and inclusive.
Willow and the Wedding!
Found one! Daddy, Papa and Me: https://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Papa-Me-Lesl%C3%A9a-Newman/dp/1582462623/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1534259381&sr=8-2&keywords=Daddy%2C+Papa+and+Me
In Harriet Gets Carried Away, Harriet has two dads but their family structure is not the focus of the story. https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781481469111
Not exactly what the customer is looking for but don’t forget Pride: Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag
“Stella Brings The Family” / Schiffer
There are a few more titles from the 2008 Rainbow List (https://glbtrt.ala.org/rainbowbooks/archives/153). Antonio’s Card is about a child with two mothers. I really enjoyed Mini Mia and Her Darling Uncle.
Gonzalez, Rigoberto. Antonio’s Card/La Tarjeta de Antonio. Illustrated by Cecilia Concepcion Alvarez. 2005. 32p. Children’s Book Press, $16.95. (9780892392049). Gr. 1-3. Antonio comes to terms with his classmates’ ridicule of his mother’s partner, Leslie.
Jopling, Heather. Monicka’s Papa Is Tall. Illustrated by Allyson Demoe. 2006. unp. Nickname (9780978073916). Pre-K. Monicka’s papa and daddy are very different, but the puzzle pieces show that both of them love her very much.
Jopling, Heather. Ryan’s Mom Is Tall. Illustrated by Allyson Demoe. 2006. unp. Nickname Press, (9780978073909). Pre-K. Ryan’s mom and mummy are very different, but the puzzle pieces show that both of them love him very much.
Lindenbaum, Pija. Mini Mia and Her Darling Uncle. Translated by Elisabeth Kallick Dyssegaard. 2007. unp. R&S Books, $16.00. (9789129667349/9129667348). K-Gr. 2. Jealous of her uncle’s new partner, Fergus, feisty Mia plays tricks to drive him away until the day Uncle Tommy isn’t feeling well and she decides to accept his relationship with Fergus.
Barefoot Books has two really excellent titles for this! One is The Barefoot Book of Children, which is a large-format illustrated reference book that asks children to consider how other people live, and in what ways they’re different or similar. It depicts kids and adults of all different sizes, races, religions, genders, class, and ability and also shows lots of alternative and blended family structures (foster and adoptive parents, LGBT families, being raised by grandparents or other relatives, etc). It’s simple and straightforward and has beautiful painted illustrations. A customer recommended this to us and it’s really great to have in-store.
https://www.barefootbooks.com/buy-barefoot/product-landing-pages/children
They also have a board book, Baby’s First Words, a vocab book about a young girl and her two dads. https://store.barefootbooks.com/baby-s-first-words.html
Thanks, all, for your wonderful suggestions! Some are out of print, but several are available. We still need to publish many many more books for these families and make the ones that do exist more readily searchable. For booksellers, that means especially in the Ingram and Baker & Taylor book databases. There’s a lot of inconsistent tagging and categorization;I did many searches under a variety of promising keywords, categories, LC, Dewey, and other tools, with little result, and would love to see better tagging.
The flower girl wore celery by Meryl G. Gordon “When Emma’s cousin Hannah gets married, Emma is thrilled to be the flower girl. However, nothing is quite as she expected it to be, from the ring bearer whom she expected to be a bear, to her celery-colored dress, which she expected to be covered in real celery, to the wedding’s two brides”
Not a wedding book but Jamie Lee Curtis’s new book, Me, Myselfie and I, features two mom. And it’s not at all an issue book, it’s just the way the parents in the story are.
A comment from Germany…: Another wonderful book (m/m-love & wedding) is “King & King” by Linda de Haan & Stern Nijland. The original version is “Koning & Koning” (Dutch), but there are translations in different languages available, f.e. English and German. Age 3+