Best Greeting Card, Ever

Josie Leavitt - December 19, 2017

One thing that has been tremendous fun in taking a few shifts at the bookstore is seeing all the fabulous new cards we’ve gotten in. Elizabeth has always been the card buyer and the store is known for really wonderfully funny and smart cards. I try to look at them all when I pop by, but of course I miss some, and am thankful for one of the funniest bookstore exchanges I’ve ever had.
An older woman came up the register and held up a card I couldn’t see. Total aside here, but why do so many people hold things up at the bookstore, either from across the floor or too far away from my aging eyes to see at the counter, and ask me questions about it? “Have you read this?” someone will ask from the front of the store. Maybe I have or maybe I haven’t, all I know is I can see you’re holding a book, most likely a blue one, and there is no way I can read anything on said item. This exact scenario played itself out over and over this past weekend.
Back to the older woman. She came up to the counter  with a card I couldn’t see and asked, somewhat loudly, “Shouldn’t this say ‘fucking?’ ” Every head in the store turned toward me, as if I was the one who dropped the F bomb at the bookstore. I know I have a propensity for foul language, but I would like to think that I’m not going to swear that loudly at a busy cash register. Apparently, I was the only one who thought that, as even co-workers said, “Really, Josie, at the register.” I looked at the woman and said, “Excuse me?” She smiled and held up a card, which of course I couldn’t see. 
Then she brought the card closer to me and I started laughing. As someone who curses while texting, the card was fabulous and showed the auto-correct struggle all people who text and curse face. Phones don’t like it when you text the F bomb, and they offer up things like “ducking” as an alternative. It said, “I ducking love you.” Then the text bubbles reveal several forms of duck, ducking, etc, and ends with “I love you a lot.” I laughed even harder as she continued to swear as she explained all the text bubbles to me, saying, “Look, right here, it should say ‘fucking’ again.” I was literally dying and had to remind her that there were children in the store. She bought the card and apologized for swearing so much. I offered her some sugar plums and she left while giggling. I’m not sure I’ve enjoyed a card purchase more.
And, I cannot wait to see what fun this ducking weekend brings.

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