Would-be authors: tired of wondering if your manuscripts are being rejected without even having been read? Worried your well-chosen words will never surface from the slush pile? Have I got a solution for you!
Why not head over to the lobby of your favorite publisher sporting pants like these "Story Book Jeans" I spotted recently on Etsy:
I say break out your faded denim and go to town! How could anyone NOT look at your butt when it’s sporting your novel’s wildly arresting first sentence? Or, if you’re worried you’d be sitting on the better parts of your story, maybe you could thumbnail your picture book up the side seam of your pants leg, then casually cross your legs when you take a seat across from that editor you’ve always admired. It seems to me that this is a much easier route than tattooing yourself with words or images from your would-be book, seeing as how you’d pretty quickly run out of visible surface space on which to promote your NEXT future award-winner.
Of course it’s true that either of these methods could easily land you in an article like the one great one featured in Children’s Bookshelf two years ago, in which editors recounted the oddest places they’d had anyone pitch a book to them. But, hey, at least you’ll feel like someone actually saw your work. Even if it they only saw it for as long as it took you to pass them by.
“How could anyone NOT look at your butt when it’s sporting your novel’s wildly arresting first sentence?” It would be the expression on the viewer’s face that would worry me!
Yes, I can understand that worry, Jon. Along those lines, though, It’s just occurring to me that this is a case in which it really pays to have a larger backside, in the interest of being able to give people more to read, or at least a font size that’s readable without them having to get too close for comfort!
LOL! I think I could get away with the first paragraph!
I love it! Finally a reason that size 1 isn’t ideal – I mean, really. How much of a story can you fit on size 1 jeans??
LOL to Kris Bordessa’s comment!! 🙂
I think the tiniest sizes would have to be reserved for the text of board books or poems. Even then, maybe just haiku.
And then there are those that would require a ball gown…
For short stories, we’d only need cut-offs.
I love Kris Bordessa’s comment. Thanks for the laughs!