Inappropriate, maybe. But HOW can you not laugh at this one??

I call it the single most divisive children’s book ever written: Love You Forever, written by Robert Munsch and illustrated by Sheila McGraw. I haven’t met a single person who DOESN’T feel strongly about this book. Either it moves you to tears and you love it, or it makes your skin crawl and you detest it (as seems to be the case with several of the commenters on last week’s post about books loved by everyone but you). I myself have been known to JOKE (and, truly I’m just joking here) that "How do you feel about Love You Forever?" should be our make-or-break interview question when we’re hiring children’s booksellers. (And, no, I won’t tell you which response is more likely to get you the gig.)

No matter how you feel about it you can’t deny the fact that this book strikes a genuine chord with people, one way or another. The book’s popularity certainly suggests that a large percentage of the public adores it and sings its praises to others. How else could you explain the fact that its worldwide sales hover somewhere around the 15 MILLION mark, according to Robert Munsch’s website? (15 MILLION!! Incredible!!) More than 7 million copies have been sold in the U.S. alone. When PW compiled a list of the All-Time Bestselling Children’s Books in the U.S., Love You Forever was the fourth bestselling picture book in paperback.

As we draw ever closer to the next Presidential election, and worries mount about another Red States/Blue States deadlock, I say we divide along completely different and much less heady lines here: When it comes to Love You Forever, are you a lover or a hater? (And if you have some thoughts as to why, include those too.)

Not sure what to do with those books you didn’t like? Here’s an entertaining suggestion.

Our AMAZING gift buyer Alexa Crowe is part of a book group in which its members don’t all read the same book — they individually read whatever books they want to then come together, talk about what they’ve read, and swap books if one person wants to read the book recommended by someone else. In their group, when someone hasn’t liked a book, they make the book sit in the corner, LITERALLY. They walk the book over to the corner, set it on the floor "facing" the corner, and then leave it leaning there, presumably until it’s learned its lesson.

I think little paper dunce caps would make a nice addition, don’t you?

Anyone else have clever "shame on you" ideas for dealing with these literary disappointments?

Since so many people appear to have enjoyed confessing to the books they’ve never read and/or their tendencies to peek ahead, I thought I’d continue this Post Secret-esque theme and invite you to confess something else — the books you know you were "supposed" to love but didn’t. You know — the books EVERYONE loved, EVERYONE thought were the best of the year, EVERYONE told you you "had" to read, so you DID and then wondered what the heck all the fuss was about.

I’ve been thinking about doing a post on this subject for months now — at least since last September, which I heard a great piece on Public Radio International’s Studio 360, in which newlywed co-producers Hillary Frank and Jonathan Menjivar set out to produce a story on whether or not Jack Kerouac’s On the Road still resonated with readers. In order to do the piece, though, Hillary had to read the book — her husband’s beloved, dog-eared, foot-noted copy of the book — for the first time. Her reactions to it and the conversation the two have about it is LONG overdue for a mention here. So overdue, in fact, that I’m embedding the audio in this very post, so you don’t even have to click elsewhere to read it. And, YES, the Hillary Frank mentioned here is indeed THAT Hillary Frank — the author of the YA novels Better Than Running at Night and I Can’t Tell You.

This everyone-loves-it-but-you theme has been haunting me in recent weeks as I keep seeing glowing reviews for a forthcoming book that I have a lot of problems with. I’ve got some objections to elements of the book’s storyline and writing, but mostly am bothered by the fact that I think this book is being marketed to entirely the wrong audience. It’s frustrating for me (somewhat baffling, really) that it keeps receiving reviews that make little or no mention of the things I find so problematic about it.

I asked some of my colleagues about their experiences with this "everyone loved it but me" phenomenon. One of them confessed that she HATED The Kite Runner, which she had listened to on audio. (Her words: "I think part of it is because it was on audio, but I think it’s got stilted writing, an okay story, and you had to have read it while it was timely to appreciate it.")

Another colleague said Eat, Pray, Love really didn’t do it for her: "And when I found out how it ended, it pissed me off."

A colleague piped up to say she hated Doctor Zhivago.

One of our reps confessed that he hated the ending of The Giver by Lois Lowry. (He was enjoying the book until he reached that point.) He also added that he REALLY didn’t like the movie Juno, which seems to have made onto almost everyone’s list of recent film favorites.

What about you? What books have you read that didn’t live up to their hype? Normally I don’t invite this sort of negativity, especially when I know authors are looking on, but in this case I think it’s safe enough, because (as we’ve already established here), everyone ELSE thinks these books are great, right? So, who cares about one little dissenter?

Except for me, of course. I care. So go on and confess your "I REALLY didn’t like such-and-such" book here, please. And feel free to make up a fake name for yourself if you’d prefer, to make your statements anonymously.

Next time you need a fix, come to me.

(Click on the image for more info.)

Normally when a box of galleys arrives in my office, I don’t have to be too concerned about who’s got first dibs on any one title. As the buyer I generally believe that I’ve got them. End of story. As an absurdly busy buyer, though, I’ve lately been offering up the "first read" opportunity on almost everything to other people, knowing I’ve got too little reading time these days and that others should therefore get to read the hottest titles without having to wait several months for me to get around to them. I’d rather have the ARCs in people’s hands than at my house collecting dust.

Typically I know just who on our staff will be the most enthusiastic about the arrival of any one ARC, and I immediately offer it up to that particular person. Last week, though, a galley arrived at our store that I KNEW was going to kick up a considerable amount of ARC jealousy and calling of "dibs!" Sure enough, the second I announced to Lorna what I was holding in my hot little hands she squealed that SHE wanted to read it first! What was it? The Runaway Dolls by Ann M. Martin and Laura Godwin — the long-awaited third book that continues the story begun in The Doll People. (I couldn’t find a final cover image for the book anywhere online, but I’ve scanned my galley and added the pic here, so at least you’ll have some image in your mind as I continue…)

After a brief conversation in which I explained that Melinda Lombardo (who recently joined our staff after 25 years as the children’s book buyer for New England Mobile Book Fairs) had been handselling The Doll People at a rate of about 5-10 copies per week since her arrival, Lorna conceded that Melinda could read The Runaway Dolls first. But THEN when I called the excited Melinda who said she’d pick it up the following day, Lorna decided that she could therefore take the ARC home with her that day, IF she promised to finish reading it that night and bring it back the following day. WHICH she did. Her report: Fun! Fabulous! Just as good as the first two books in the series.

Melinda has since finished the book too and has also given it her own thumbs-up. I believe Pat might be reading it next. After Pat I think either Kym or Lisa is in line to take a turn. Or maybe it’s Mayre…? I don’t remember the exact line-up. EVENTUALLY, though, the galley will make its back to me. (Hopefully at a time when I’m actually free enough to read it!)

While waiting my turn, though, I confess to having levelled the "first dibs" playing field a bit by secreting away the galley for Sharon Creech’s Hate That Cat without mentioning its existence to anyone. I knew it was one book I could actually find time to read from cover to cover (i.e. about 20 minutes).

And what a sweet, sweet 20 minutes it was!! Fans of Love That Dog will NOT be disappointed with this continuation of Jack’s story, and will be thrilled to see the progress he’s making with his poetry, his appreciation of pets, and his awareness of alliteration.

Hate That Cat has since been read by Lorna and Pat and is currently being read by Deb, who will then pass it on to Kym who (to our horror!) admitted the other night that she’d never read Love That Dog! I immediately fetched a copy from the sales floor so that she could rectify the situation.

The next galley to burn its way through the lot of us? I predict it’s going to be The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I have, I admit, been holding the galley hostage until I head off on vacation next week, at which point I know I will devour it whole and then have a hard time shutting up about it, as that seems to be the effect it’s had on EVERYONE who has read it to date. In all my almost 10 (yikes!) years of bookselling I can’t remember so many booksellers getting so excited (or being so secretive!) about the same ARC. Except maybe in the case of books by Rowling and Pullman… And what excellent company for Suzanne Collins to be keeping!

In the meantime, I’m going to make as many people as possible read Cecilia Galante’s The Patron Saint of Butterflies, which I made the mistake of starting on Friday and had finished by Sunday afternoon. (Though I didn’t allow myself to so much as touch the book on Saturday, so that I wouldn’t be tempted to stray from my own writing!) I was completely taken in by Agnes and Honey’s story and can think of nothing negative to say about it except that I’m not wild about the title. Apart from that, though? No complaints! Only raves. And a remark that it seems a very relevant book to use right now for anyone keen to discuss the recent raid on the FLDS ranch in Eldorado, Texas.

If you’ve had this book in your one-of-these-days-I-WILL-get-to-it piles, I say move it to the top. I’m tipping my hat to Kristen McLean of ABC who, in a conversation on Friday, got me to do just that. Now perhaps my enthusiasm will help convince YOU.

Inspired by my "Baby Got Books" t-shirt post of last Friday, Cheryl Klein, senior editor at Scholastic’s Arthur A. Levine Books, penned her own lyrics to the Sir-Mix-A-Lot hit and posted them on her terrific blog, Brooklyn Arden. With Cheryl’s permission I’m reprinting them for you here, with Cheryl’s original links included.

While I can’t say these lyrics are quite as brilliant as the The Book of Everything or The Legend of the Wandering King, two fantastic books Cheryl has edited, neither of those made me laugh quite as hard as this MUCH-improved version of a classic 90’s dance tune, so… Cheryl? Points for you.

And now… "Baby Got Book." Cheryl Klein-style.

[Female voice]
Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her book. It is so big. *scoff* She looks like, one of those, librarians’ girlfriends. But, you know, who understands those librarians? *scoff* They only talk to her, because, she looks like a total bibliovore, ‘kay? I mean, her book, is just so big. *scoff* I can’t believe it’s just so thick. It’s like, out there. I mean – gross. Look! She’s just so … smart!

[Sir Reads-a-Lot]
I like big books and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with an big fat book
And glasses on her face
You’re all thrilled, wanna talk to her quick
Cause you notice she’s reading Dickens
Deep in the tote she’s carrying
I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And read you all night
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that book you got makes me so horny
Ooh, Tolkien – elves!
You say you wanna get in my shelves?
Well, use me, use me
‘Cause you ain’t that average bookie
I’ve seen them readin’
To hell with their speedin’
She’s Zinn, Prynne,
Got it goin’ like Jane Austen
I’m tired of magazines
Sayin’ short books are the thing
Take the average intellectual and ask him that
She gotta cook much book
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got big books? (Hell yeah!)
Tell ’em to read it! (Read it!) Read it! (Read it!)
Read that giant tome!
Baby got book!

(LA face with New York volume)
Baby got book!

I like pages galore
And when I’m in an indie bookstore
I just can’t help myself, I’m actin’ like an animal
Now here’s my scandal
I wanna take ’em all home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain’t talking ’bout Dan Brown
‘Cause his books are made for clowns
I want ’em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy novel
Reads-A-Lot will grovel
Beggin’ for a piece of that cover
So I’m lookin’ at bestsellers
Patterson and them fellers
Give me Joseph Heller
And I’ll keep my women fine spellers
A word to the bookmarked sisters, I wanna get with ya
Good grammar’s my bit, yeah
And I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *read*
Till the break of dawn
Tolstoy got it goin’ on
A lot of simps won’t like this song
‘Cause them punks like to slim it and skim it
And I’d rather drink and think
‘Cause I’m glossy, and I’m saucy
And I’m down to be your Mr. Darcy
So, ladies! (Yeah!) Ladies! (Yeah!)
You wanna roll in my barouche? (Hell yeah!)
Then open up! Ain’t no doubt!
Even Pauly Shore got to shout
Baby got book!

Baby got book!
Yeah, baby … when it comes to females, Cosmo ain’t got nothin’ to do with my selection. Two hundred pages? Ha ha, only if that’s one chapter.

So your girlfriend reads like Ripa, with audiobooks on her speakers
But audio ain’t the same thing, it’s just cheatin’
My tall bookshelves they don’t want none
Unless you’ve got spine, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups
But please don’t lose that brain
Some brothers full of folderol
Gonna tell you that your books ain’t gold
So they don’t beck you, reject you
And I pull up quick to recheck you
So Cosmo says it’s bad to be smart
That ain’t my library cart!
‘Cause your mind is open and your curves are kickin’
And I’m thinkin’ ’bout stickin’
To Paris and Lindsay in the magazines:
You ain’t it, Miss Thing!
Give me a reader, I’ll feed her,
Franzen and Pullman need her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
‘Cause Harry Potter’s on your list
Guy might read but he’s still a fool
Eight hundred pages so cool
So ladies, if lit’s your love
And you wanna make like Nabokov
Dial 1-800-READSALOT
And we’ll read those banned novels.
Baby got book!

(Little in the middle but she got much book) [4x]

Thank you, Obsession Design at Café Press, for this laugh.

A confession: I rarely read reviews of books I haven’t already read myself. Kirkus recently gave Gareth’s new Merchant of Venice graphic novel a glowing, starred review and the celebration of that news at our house got us talking with other book world friends about various review sources and the question of who reads them and how much it influences their purchasing.

As you know if you read my post about peeking, I don’t like to have key details of a book given away to me in advance. On a more practical note, though, as a buyer I have the incredible luxury of being able to see most books and buy them based solely on my own opinions of them, at least in the case of picture books. In the case of novels, reviews could theoretically be influential to my frontlist buying, but the timing of them generally makes that help impossible. Usually when I’m meeting with my sales reps I’m buying books that haven’t been critically reviewed as yet, so I’m left relying on the advice of my rep, my knowledge of an author’s prior books, and (first and foremost) my gut instinct.

Sometimes I will skip a book in my frontlist ordering only to read rave reviews of it later and then decide to order it for our store. But generally the books that get the most review attention are the books I was most likely to have bought in my initial frontlist round. So, again, reviews don’t influence my buying much.

If our customers read reviews with any regularity I’d obviously have to pay closer attention, but by and large the few who do are librarians who often do much of their ordering directly from Baker and Taylor or Follett — distributors who can do the processing/cataloguing for them that, sadly, isn’t a service our store can offer. It’s really only a handful of our customers who come in the door looking for titles reviewed in the New York Times Book Review, let alone PW or The Horn Book or Kirkus or Booklist or SLJ or Kliatt, which shares its own home base with our store, in Wellesley.

For me, too, the review sources I find to be the most reliable are PEOPLE I know personally. At our New England Independent Children’s Booksellers Advisory Council meetings it’s always the "title sharing" portion of the day that I find the most useful. It’s particularly helpful for me to hear reviews from booksellers whose tastes tend be similar to mine, because I know that if if they liked a book, odds are I’ll enjoy it too. Or if a book sells well in so-and-so’s store, it’s likely to sell well in ours. With critical reviews, unless I know who’s reviewing a book and am familiar with their likes and dislikes, I have no sense of whether or not I’m likely to agree with them, so it’s hard to know how much stock to put in their reviews.

But… that’s just me. What about YOU? Do you regularly read reviews and if so to what extent do they influence your purchasing (either for yourself or your library or your bookstore or… fill in the blank)? Do you pay attention to the names of reviewers so that you have some idea of their general preferences or does that not matter to you? What’s your favorite source these days for book reviews and why?

What do you consider art? That’s what the producers of the clever program Creature Comforts apparently asked random folks before putting their thoughts together in this VERY clever bit that should appeal to all writers, illustrators, and artists by any other name. (My favorite character is the dog who talks about print-making.)

Originally a five-minute film by Nick Park of Wallace and Gromit fame, Creature Comforts became a British television series by Aardman Animations Ltd. that featured Claymation animals dubbed with the voices of everyday people commenting on whatever topic they’d been asked about in "man on the street" style interviews. CBS piloted an American version of the program last June but cancelled it after airing just three episodes. Animal Planet begins airing the show this week (Thursdays at 7pm). On their website you can watch 10 very entertaining Claymation shorts about how you can make the world a better place by adopting more eco-friendly habits. I’ll embed one below, but encourage you to visit the Animal Planet site to watch the others, as they’re the perfect Earth Day entertainment!