{"id":31949,"date":"2019-12-18T08:00:13","date_gmt":"2019-12-18T13:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.publishersweekly.com\/blogs\/shelftalker\/?p=31949"},"modified":"2019-12-18T08:00:13","modified_gmt":"2019-12-18T13:00:13","slug":"our-twelve-days-of-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blogs.publishersweekly.com\/blogs\/shelftalker\/?p=31949","title":{"rendered":"Our Twelve Days of Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s a brief musical interlude today in this frantic week of sleigh-loading, friends, but I promise that the earworm it creates will be long-lasting. Here’s a little holiday tune to keep you humming between sales:
\nOn the first day of the season, dear FedEx brought to me:<\/em><\/strong>
\nA shipment just missing box #3.
\n 
\n\"\"<\/a>
\n
\nIn the second box of books, why did Ingram send to me?<\/em><\/strong>
\nTwo turtlebacks (dammit) (and a shipment just missing box #3).<\/em>
\nOn the third day I missed lunch, my staffer shared with me:<\/em><\/strong>
\nThree cold French fries, (two turtlebacks, and a shipment just missing box #3).<\/em>
\n\"\"<\/a>
\nOn the fourth tired evening, in my message stack I’ll see:<\/em><\/strong>
\nFour cold-call self pubs, (three French fries, two turtlebacks, and a shipment just missing box #3).
\n<\/em>
\nOn the fifth day of wrapping, my customer brought to me:<\/em><\/strong>
\nFIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. (“please wrap them individually, cover the prices with stickers, and be sure to write the titles on a post-it note on top. Do you have any more boyish Christmas paper and do I get a volume discount?)
\n(Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks, and a shipment still missing box #3.)<\/em>
\n\"\"<\/a>
\nIt’s the sixth round of school orders, but we can’t seem to see:<\/strong>
\nA lost case of Goose Girl (FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks, and a shipment still missing box #3).
\n<\/em>
\nIt’s the seventh week of the quarter, so at my desk I’ll be:<\/strong>
\nSwimming in invoices, (lost case of <\/em>Goose Girl, FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks and a shipment still missing box #3).
\n<\/em>
\nOn the eighth week of overtime, my home I rarely see:<\/strong>
\nSomeone send a maid please (swimming in invoices, lost case of <\/em>Goose Girl, FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks, and a shipment still missing box #3).
\n<\/em>
\n\"\"<\/a>
\nOn my ninth hour on the floor, my headache pounds like drums:<\/strong>
\nDo we have some aspirin?\u00a0(someone send a maid please, swimming in invoices, lost case of <\/em>Goose Girl, FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks and a shipment still missing box #3).
\n<\/em>
\nOn the tenth day of December, the bathroom overflowed.<\/strong>
\nPipes spewing water\u00a0(do we have some aspirin? Someone send a maid please, swimming in invoices, lost case of <\/em>Goose Girl, FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks, and a shipment still missing box #3).
\n<\/em>
\nOn December eleventh, a customer brought treats.<\/strong>
\nAll of us were dancing (do we have some aspirin? Someone send a maid please, swimming in invoices, lost case of <\/em>Goose Girl, FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks, and a shipment still missing box #3).
\n<\/em>
\n\"\"<\/a>
\nOn the twelfth day of Christmas, all we could say was “PLEASE”:<\/strong>
\nLord, let it soon be over (all of us were dancing, do we have some aspirin? Someone send a maid please, swimming in invoices, lost case of <\/em>Goose Girl, FIVE GOLDEN BOOKS. Four cold-call self pubs, three French fries, two turtlebacks. AND WE FOUND THAT WRETCHED MISSING BOX #3).<\/em>
\nHere’s to a chorus of strong sales in these last few days!
\n 
\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A bookseller’s humorous take on the “Twelve Days of Christmas.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31949","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.publishersweekly.com\/blogs\/shelftalker\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31949","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.publishersweekly.com\/blogs\/shelftalker\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.publishersweekly.com\/blogs\/shelftalker\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.publishersweekly.com\/blogs\/shelftalker\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.publishersweekly.com\/blogs\/shelftalker\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=31949"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.publishersweekly.com\/blogs\/shelftalker\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31949\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.publishersweekly.com\/blogs\/shelftalker\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=31949"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.publishersweekly.com\/blogs\/shelftalker\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=31949"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.publishersweekly.com\/blogs\/shelftalker\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=31949"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}