I have to admit that I love trolling Twitter and Facebook. I learn a lot of interesting things and there are links to great articles and ideas I may not have seen otherwise. It’s enjoyable to keep up with some of my favorite people and discover new ones. Unfortunately, it’s also a way to disconnect with some.
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When did it become okay to just say whatever you want however you want? I’m specifically talking about four letter words. Now I have no problem with reading them in stories or hearing them in movies when it goes with the character. My problem is seeing them printed out online coming out of the mouths of people who want to be in the public eye. Every time I see an author spouting off on any social media site with swear words I cringe. Don’t they realize how many potential readers are out there seeing this or has everyone become so immune to this behavior that it doesn’t matter anymore?
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Now I’m no prude and I’ve got quite the vocabulary myself. I’ve been know to lay it all out there when my emotions get the better of me. But I tend to do it in private, with people I know and who know me. There are times and places for everything. It’s expected in certain adult shows or comedy acts.
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I don’t think I’ll ever get used to some of the reality shows on television that have contestants ranting to the camera constantly streaming vile comments about the other players. Really? Is this how you want to be remembered? And while I realize that most of it is done for ratings, it saddens me that it’s become so acceptable and even expected.
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It seems much more relevant for me in regard to authors. They are the ones I follow the most and yes, I guess I do expect more out of them when they are in public. It’s one thing to be with your friends and that’s part of your personality, but it’s quite another when you are selling a product that you’d like to appeal to a broader audience. It’s so easy to turn someone off to you by a simple word.
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What do you think? Is it ok for authors to say whatever they want anytime? Does it matter anymore what kind of colorful language you use? Is it socially acceptable now? Does it turn you off when you see an author swearing online? Or in public?
Bottom Line: You are in the word business. Choose your words wisely…at least in public.
I agree completely, Barbara. I have even hidden certain people from my FB feed because their language offends me. I don’t think of myself as a prude either, but society seems to be losing its sense of decorum. I don’t think we’re better off for it.
Lisa
Hi Lisa, I admit that I have also hidden some people who don’t seem to have a filter or just don’t care. It saddens me that so many kids are exposed to this. Seems to send the message that it’s all ok and yet many act horrified if kids start spouting this stuff off.
Barbara, please forgive me for reaching out to you this way but my attempts to reach you via email haven’t worked. I keep getting can’t deliver messages. Maybe your email’s filter system? I’d love to talk to you about a project of the heart involving my grandfather’s writing for the pulp magazines before his tragic death at age thirty six. His website http://www.HomerEonFlint.com tells some of the story.
Thanks for reading this.
Oh, Barb! I feel like I wrote this post. This is EXACTLY how I feel. I love to cuss, but I also know when and where it’s appropriate. Which, to be honest, isn’t very many places. I see quite a bit of it online, and while I find some of it rather funny, I also have to wonder if that was the best route to take.
Elle, when I wrote this I had my doubts that many would feel the way I do. I love to laugh and have fun with my friends, but I really don’t know “everyone” that well online. I think some of the funny stuff could still be funny with other words used.
I agree. But it occurs to me that sometimes I forget I’m in public – even when I’m offline. For that, I apologize. Kinda makes me wonder what the neighbors think when I’m in the back yard cursing at the weeds, though.
I sometimes think weeds deserve it.
yeah, if words could kill
I agree completely!
Your bottom line says it all.
Like you, I’m no prude but seeing a lot of four letter words from an author or a musician (on Facebook and Twitter) tends to turn me off and I don’t want to read their posts/tweets anymore.
I guess because I have such a soft spot for authors, I want them to succeed. This just seems like a roadblock.
This is a hot button for me, Barbara.
No, it isn’t okay. You can turn a person off fast by using four letter words. Some use them for shock value I believe, but instead I see it as a lack of being able to express themself intelligently. I’ve heard great writers speaking to a hugh groups of people use four letters words and all they convience me to do was to not buy their books.
More times than not our mouth is your brand!
I love that you say “express themselves intelligently.” Authors are so bless with the gift of words. Use them wisely.
I’m totally with you (and just about everyone else who has posted so far).
While it’s expected in certain situations, it should not be expected or accepted as part of casual/everyday occurrences. I don’t generally associate with people who prefer profanity.
Words are powerful and authors are the ultimate wielder of that power. While I wouldn’t expect a ticked off, centuries old warrior to use tearoom English, I would certainly hope that the creator of said warrior would have the decorum and control to know there is a time and a place for everything.
Nomad, there is a time and place for everything. People obviously have the right to say what they want, but sometimes it’s a good idea to think it through first.
Now you have hit one of my nerves.
While all adults use them in certain situations, and sometimes there really is no better word than the cuss to convey utter frustration, it is so ugly when done in public.
I remember telling my kids that people who used them regularly had been hit on the head with a dictionary – hence why their vocabulary had stopped at ‘f’.
It obviously made an impression because neither has ever run out of correct words to express their feelings, and both are in their twenties.
So no, Barbara, you are not alone.
I love the way you explained it to your kids. I’m going to use that one.
When I was growing up, my father explained it that “the person who cussed all the time only had a limited vocabulary and a limited education and who wants to appear ignorant?”
Not really a quote but pretty close to his words.
I’m with you 100%, Barbara… If an author says a curse word or two on occasion I can deal with that, but when it’s *every* post, then I stop following them.
I think some are just trying to get attention, and they are doing it in a negative way. Not good.
Dawn, it definitely is an attention getter whether they think it is positive or negative.
Barbara – I agree with you…but I see us as a dying breed. I love the HBO series, The Newsroom, but sometimes every other spoken word is the F-bomb – especially from the male characters. Sometimes I think they do it for humor, but it gives almost a license to anyone to swear repeatedly. It’s an aspect of modern life that I don’t particularly like.
It makes me sad because there are so many beautiful words in our language.
I would guess all of us as authors try to act professionally. But when I get nervous, bad things slip out. Also if I get too relaxed, which I know sounds odd, but it’s true. Either end of the spectrum and I reach for the WRONG thing to say. It never fails. I agree with you Barbara, but I gotta say, I try and act professionally all the time, but I fail at this often. *sigh* I guess I’m just human!
Jade, I think there is a difference between things “slipping out” and having a regular vocabulary of words some may deem offensive. If you’re an author wanted to get new readers to try you, I would think you’d want to put your best foot forward to get readers to try your books. To some authors, their language may not present a problem to them, but that is up to them to decide. As always, it’s an individual decision.
Good point. And hopefully readers can forgive an author who has a “slippage” but general habits show throw…well, habitually!
I totally agree with you, Barbara. There’s a time a place for the usage of that word. Once a public figure, and I consider authors public figures, steps into the social media realm, they are always on stage. They need to remember that they are shaping minds out there with what they say day-to-day.
I especially hate music that every sentence has the “f” word. That song gets dumped into digital trash can. Do they not know a better way of expressing themselves. I do not want four-letter words to become the norm of speech. I totally don’t.
There is a time and place for it. It should not be common usage. Find another way to express yourself unless you really feel that strongly about the situation.
Maybe there could be a separate thesaurus for musicians so they could use different words to express their thoughts.
I am still not used to hearing four letter words on some of the cable stations. I have an internal censor when it comes to cussing around customers or people I do not know. I really don’t use four letter words on FB or Twitter. Instead I become Yosemite Sam and spell out gibberish or *@#!*. It’s so much easier and does not offend anyone.
Great idea Shannon.
I have been to a few author events and conferences and I’m amazed when an author uses the “four letter” words. Like you I do say them myself but usually when I’m with friends. I will admit that I am immune to some of the more common words and don’t usually notice them if an author or other person in the media says them but there is a time and place for it. Saying it for ratings or just because you can’t think of a better word is not acceptable (I don’t watch the so-called reality shows). Like you said, you’re in the word business, you should be able to choose more appropriate words.
We all slip up from time to time. In the heat of emotion, the mouth sometimes works faster than brain. But I think the distinction that needs to be made here is, as authors, we are used to rechecking our writing for mistakes. So you can’t exactly call it a slip up when you typed out each letter of the word, read it over, and still hit send. Then it is deliberate and reflects on you.
I agree with the ladies. There are certain times and places people should use those four letter words. Yes we all slip and say them but I’ve known people who can’t speak a sentence without having every other word be a curse word. I don’t think I’ve ever really experienced an author speaking like that but yes I think they should be careful on what they say.
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